Hi,Christian Pedersen here … When I talk to men about marriage and relationship, I often get a reaction like this:
“Why should I change? Why should I change for HER?”
Which is actually a really good question. I’d like to offer you two answers to it.
First, If you’re just doing it “for her”, and you don’t actually want to, you shouldn’t!
If you do, you’re destined to feeling resentful because you’re not following your own internal knowing, your gut, your heart!
And it’s going to set you up for having a running conversation in your head that sounds something like, “Why it always ME having to change? What about HER? If she would just do her own work, and stop telling me what to do … ”
There’s only so many times you can do something you don’t really want to, before you start losing respect in yourself. And that’s no good.
So the first answer is, you shouldn’t.
Secondly, because you take inventory of your life and you want to make changes. I use a pretty pragmatic method for my taking inventory of my own life.
I simply ask: Is it working for me?
I look at my marriage, my work, my family, my health, and I ask myself, “Is this working for me?”
That is, am I getting what I need and want? Am I pleased with my sex, love, and intimacy? Am I getting to be the man I want to be? Am I showing up as a good role model for my kids and others. Am I getting to contribute in a meaningful way in my world? In short … Is it working for me?
When the answer is “No, not really”, Well, that’s my reason to change.
So, I’d invite you to try that simple method. Look at your marriage or relationship, your work, your family, your life, and ask, “Is it working for me?”
Do you see reasons why YOU would want change, for YOU? Not because she said so, or anyone else said so, but because you know it’s time?
Please hit Reply to the email where you got this video, or just send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, and tell me what you would like to change (for YOU!), and why.
I really want to know, and I really want to help, if I can. Your replies won’t be published, and I’ll get back to you about it.