SEX IN RELATIONSHIP
Isn’t it funny how we always put sex last on the list?
Well, more sad than funny really.
It’s like anything that feels good only happens AFTER everything else is done – which you may have noticed HARDLY EVER happens!
Sex is right up there with watching sunsets and smelling flowers, taking a walk barefoot in the grass or picking blackberries and making a pie, running through sprinklers, roasting marshmallows and singing around the campfire, painting a picture or swimming at night…
These are the kind of fun, memorable pleasure activities that nourish your soul and make life worth living.
But for some reason, we put pleasure off.
Not today. Too tired. Have a headache. Have to get up early. Don’t want to miss that TV show.
And then two years go by. Then four. Then ten.
Then there we are, stuck in a rut we never consciously created, but too shy or uncomfortable to unstick ourselves.
Even if you pretend it doesn’t.
ESPECIALLY if you pretend it doesn’t.
Unless you have taken a vow of chastity, if your sex isn’t flowing, it is likely that your love isn’t flowing either. Or your money. Or your well-being.
It is all the same energy.
Get sex moving and everything else moves too.
We have experienced this many times.
When my husband and I are feeling out of sync or not in flow, we will go make love. And often, while we are having GREAT sex, the phone will ring with a new client!
So listen again …
If you aren’t having sex, or your sex is flat and predictable, do whatever it takes to recharge your sexual energy and get it moving again!
Take a relationship class, attend a sexuality workshop (we offer a fabulous sexuality course), watch an educational sex film (we have several great ones we recommend), read a sex book or two, and for goodness sakes, schedule a sex date!
Now, if you haven’t had sex in ten years it may feel completely out of reach to get that fiery ball set in motion again. But rest assured, it is not impossible..
Sylvia and Bill came to our sex training pretty resigned and discouraged. They hadn’t had sex for 10 years. Here is what they said two days later:.
“We came home and made love for several hours. After a ten-year dry spell we’re finally back on track and excited about having love in our life again and Oh My God, not only that, we’re just thrilled with our lives!”.
Another couple hadn’t had good sex for three years. They said the chemistry was gone. They “just didn’t feel IT” anymore. By Sunday afternoon they were all over each other and said with a big grin, “We’re not sure we’ll even make it to the car!”>.
Tamara, a SINGLE woman said that the course threw her “Catholic girl” out the window. Two months later she created the relationship of her dreams and came back to repeat the workshop with her new boyfriend, Ken!.
For Scott and Suzanne, who hadn’t been sexual for 10 years, weekly scheduled pleasure sessions were an easy and safe way for them to re-introduce sex into their relationship..
What’s a pleasure session?.
A pleasure session is a time set aside for pleasure. One person gives and one person receives. The receiver tells the giver what he or she likes and guides the giver with positive appreciation. .
What’s a pleasure session?
A pleasure session is a time set aside for pleasure. One person gives and one person receives. The receiver tells the giver what he or she likes and guides the giver with positive appreciation.
For some people who haven’t been sexual for years, having intercourse or genital play of any kind can feel too scary and too big a stretch. So pleasure sessions that are other body centered can be a nice bridge. Take turns giving each other a foot rub or back massage and gradually incorporating the rest of the body can be a nice way to reintroduce pleasure and sexual intimacy.
Now, I want to be honest with you. Overcoming uncomfortable feelings, inertia and nonsexual habits are quite difficult to do on your own. That is why I STRONGLY recommend you take a sexuality class from a reputable relationship trainer or sex instructor.
Now, you may be thinking why a sex class? And how is it possible to change my entire sex life from ONE RELATIONSHIP CLASS?
Well, think about it. Whatever you have been doing, you have been doing for a long time. And what you have been doing for a long time stems from conditioned thinking.
You have to get some new ideas, permission to think new thoughts and open yourself to some new possibilities if you are to successfully change your sexual experience.
When you branch out and expose yourself to new possibilities for sex, you will open windows that have been slammed shut for years.
And I’m not talking just about different positions and strokes here, though that can be fun. I am talking how to have the kind of deep spiritual, connecting, out of this world blissful sex you dream about!
And guess what? There are a lot of great sex classes where you don’t have to take off your clothes, breathe heavy or divulge sex secrets either! Some of them you can even do from home!
So reach out. Get support. Take a class. Watch a movie.
Make nourishing your soul and body a priority. Put pleasure
at the top of your list.
Today is a good day for ONE reason.
Today is all there is.
There is no tomorrow.
Only a bunch of todays strung together.
So please …
If you are breathing, it is not too late to revitalize your sex life.
No matter what your mind says!